I Stumble and Fall Down

Paul’s struggle with sin described in Romans 7 resonates within me. . It is an enigma to me why I sin when I don't want to, yet I still do. There is always a battle of some kind within us. We each have our own special vulnerabilities that make us weak and susceptible to sin. 

As we enter the holiday season, it is always good to do self-reflection. Being aware of one’s own “Achilles’ Heel” or areas where we are weak to sin helps keep us guarded and protected. Even so, I find myself stumbling and falling down...again and again. But, thankfully we have a merciful God who is there to help all of us back up.

I Stumble and Fall Down

I stumble and fall down
But Jesus helps me off the ground

Just when I think life is good
Standing the best I could

Then I fall into my own hole dug
I regret again with "shoulds" and "woulds"

It's my blame; it's always the same
My wants and desires, the human hunger game

The person I see in the mirror taunts
My mistakes, wrongs, and errors constantly haunt

Why do I do what I do
When I know I knew what I knew

How can I stoop and bend that low
Continually knocking myself with each blow

In my dark hole, it is lonely and cold
The falling over and over will take its toll

The battle rages, living within
As I struggle and joust with my very own sin

Sometimes I have no idea where to begin
And I think the torment will never end

How do I find my way out
From my hole I scream, cry, and shout

Nowhere to go, the darkness blinds my sight
It seems each time, I just can't get it right

So nowhere to look but up to the Light
To see God staring into my sight

His mercy and grace are extended to me
He helps me once again to clearly see

So I stumbled and fell down
But Jesus was there to help me back off the ground

-Dr. Rhonda Milner

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.... As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.... What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!"
Romans 7: 15, 17, 18, 19, 20, 24, 25

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Poetry, Blog, SufferingRhonda Milner