This Side of Heaven
Recently, my life journey has been privy to painful stories. Loves lost and unexplained tragedies have triggered thoughts and remembrances of my own deep heartbreak and loss. I also bear witness that even though love may pale with the loss of your beloved, the love you shared will always remain when that person is carried in your heart. I have learned to rest in the mystery, accepting that there are things in this life I will never understand. If you have experienced the untimely death of a loved one and the pain of love abruptly taken away, then you know there are some things we will never understand this side of Heaven.
This Side of Heaven
There are some things this side of Heaven we will never understand
Things so painful to endure you think you can't withstand
No reason, no logic can explain the Why
Every morning you wake up praying it's been a lie
Numbness and denial are the zombie friends
You keep praying every moment the suffering will end
Tears flow down like an endless brook
Memories encircle with each remembered look
To move even a muscle is an effort lost
The persistent images remain at a cost
Too painful to remember but too cherished to forget
You wish time could be lost, could be reset
You think it could, would be easier to die
Than to continue on breathing with each desperate sigh
The intimacy and connection you so deeply miss
Longs for one more gentle touch and tender kiss
Their lingering presence is like a shroud
Dense shadows cover you, harboring a black cloud
Reflected images in the mirrored glass
Give you glimpses of what was lost, gone in the past
You thought the storybook story would always last
But those frozen moments have melted, vanished too fast
The hourglass sand has kept on dripping
While your bleeding heart is torn, still ripping
The Piper continues to play His long song
But you know now the present is all wrong
You keep thinking of what you have been denied
Within your innermost being you want to defy
The wistful, solemn looks make you want to hide
You know this journey will be a long, rocky ride
Strength, courage, honor, the right thing to do
But you have lost your heart, you know you lose
If only the clock could turn back for a different choice
Then your heart's desire could have a different voice
So you must choose to go on living
Its duty, sacrifice, you must be willing
For all those you love are counting on you
Where to find the strength, if only you knew
The sting and bite of the reality now heard
The only place to turn, God's written Word
In His healing Presence you find your solace and life source
He encourages you and guides you back on the straight narrow course
So it is God you trust and gives you the patience to wait
The answer will come; it won't be too late
You will make it through no need to escape
Just one day at a time, no need to quicken the pace
Sitting in this mystery with a mask of unknowing
All the while your faith and belief are continually growing
God promises He can redeem
No matter the sorrow or how it may seem
So in this sadness you may find your strength
Keep your courage in the pain, no matter the length
But you wish this heartbreak and loss would go away
You don't know or think there is a way
Secrets are choices that count and hurt
Then too late to change, no compromise, you assert
Entwined and furled together are love and loss
No separation, it is worth the cost
There are some things this side of Heaven we will never understand
But until, God will hold you up, never letting go of your hand
One day in the promised future, you will meet again in a different time, place, and land
You will look face to face and then know, because in Heaven you will stand
-Dr. Rhonda Milner
"For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known,"
1 Corinthians 13:12
"The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand."
Psalm 37:23:24
"For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you,
Do not fear; I will help you."
Isaiah 41:13
